31.3.12

A More Serious Post.

I would like to discuss a very serious problem that affects 82%* of 24-30 year olds, the Quarter Life Crisis. How old was Britney Spears when she shaved her head and went to rehab? 25. How old is Lindsay Lohan right now? 25. How old was Julia Roberts when she married Lyle Lovett? You guessed it, 25! Turning 25 does something to a person. You start to panic. Your friends start getting married, buying houses, and having babies. What are you doing? Playing Draw Something with a bunch of strangers. You realize you need to do something major and fast so you don't get stuck in the boring life you have stumbled into.

Why am I talking about such a serious topic in my usual light hearted blog? I, myself have turned 25 today. You are probably reading this and thinking about how well adjusted and normal I seem, there is no way I could fall victim to such a make believe problem. Well, I hate to disappoint but I was hit hard by this phenomenon. I quit my steady, good paying nursing job and applied for Radio Broadcasting. Yep, I'm gonna chase my dreams. It feels kinda reckless because I am trading financial security in for a much lower paying job but I realized that life is way too freaking long to be doing something I don't like. Plus it's just a new career, Barbie does it all the time. It's not like I married Lyle Lovett. You don't bounce back from something like marrying Lyle Lovett.

-Miss Connection

*Statistic completely made up.

26.3.12

St. Patties Day

St. Patties Day is one of my favorite holidays. I really don't know what is being celebrated, all I know is that I love the color green and I love beer, so naturally I love St. Patties Day! This year I took time off work, bought bright green pants, and attempted to hit the town with friends. The night started off with a game of Mystery Date, which is a board game from the early 90's about dating so obviously I lost. My friend Kate had a deck of Tarot Cards so she did a reading for each of us girls. I'm no expert but when you ask about your love life and you get a card with a crying mermaid on it, probably not a good sign. Nope, just as I suspected, things will not be improving in that category. After all of this exciting pre-partying we decided to make the journey to Original Joes. There were no tables. We decided to wait. Kate and I were too hungry to wait so we ran across the street to McDonald's where I hit the creepy mother load. There was a strange man sitting at a table on his laptop. Kate pointed out that he was probably working on his Kijiji personal ads. While eating my Happy Meal I made sure to stare in his direction. My naturally loud voice caught his attention a few times, even making him laugh at one point. But alas, one week later and no missed connection.
-Miss Connection

19.3.12

It's All In The Brows!

Ever since I have holstered the "finger guns" I have been wondering how I am supposed to flirt. I thought about a subtle hair flip and quickly realised, I can't do subtle. Next, I did some intensive Google research and would be mortified if someone was to look at my internet history, lots of "how to flirt" sites exist out there. To sum up what I learned, I need to act like an idiot and draw attention to my mouth. In my world that means I should always be eating a great big meatball sub. That's not sexy. So my next source of information was the retro cartoon channel. Those cartoons are a goldmine for flirting tips! While I haven't been able to get my tongue to roll out of my mouth or my eyes to pop out of my head, I have mastered the eyebrow waggle. I went to several liquor stores one evening and tried out the brows. Let me tell ya, I was sensational. I made many bouts of extended eye contact and only burst out laughing once. I wouldn't be surprised if kijiji blows up this week.
-Miss Connection

16.3.12

Speed Dating!

Last week I tried out speed dating through Finding Love Lady at the Blarney Stone! Due to the crazy snowfall, attendance was bleak. Only two men and two ladies showed up. Either way, I got to date two men in the course of an hour which pretty much tripled the amount of men I have dated previously, so there's that. We paired off and played some games. Now, this is where I found out how competitive I am and how much I can't multitask. I destroyed the other team at the first two games but I literally didn't learn a thing about either guy in the first two rounds. I was way too focused on winning which I can imagine was not an attractive thing to witness. The next couple rounds were "get to know you rounds". We had cue cards with fun questions to help conversation along which was awesome. Normally, when I am uncomfortable I start babbling about sharks. Strange defense mechanism, I know. Because of all the games and cue cards I don't think I said one word about sharks! This is a pretty huge deal since men in general make me uncomfortable. I would definitely recommend speed dating to everyone, except for married people, that's just swinging. I myself did not connect with either men that showed up. I did however, make eyes at two other men at the Blarney Stone that night, mostly because they caught me staring at their large neck tattoos.

-Miss Connection

6.3.12

It Has Happened...For Someone Else.

While browsing Kijiji and Craigslist for missed connections today, I almost had a heart attack. Has it happened? Is this a joke? The headline had Walmart and Sylvan Lake in the title. I spend almost all of my free time at Walmart. I find it relaxing there. I click on the ad, my heart racing. The ad is crudely written, as if chiseled into a cave wall. Spelling and punctuation left by the wayside, there is no time for capitalization when dressing room love is on the line! Was this passionate man looking to reconnect with me? No. My heart falls. The date of the article is March 3rd. March 3rd, a day I spent entirely in Canmore, away from my homebase Walmart. As disappointed as I am that the first missed connection posted about a business I frequent was not about me, I am hopeful. There is now proof that I am close. This could happen.
-Miss Connection

wal-mart sylvan lake - m4w - 40 (sylvan lake)


Date: 2012-03-04, 7:40PM MST
Reply to: mailto:n9bqm-2884959566@pers.craigslist.org?subject=wal-mart%20%20%20%20sylvan%20lake%20-%20m4w%20-%2040%20(sylvan%20lake)&body=%0A%0Ahttp%3A%2F%2Freddeer.en.craigslist.ca%2Fmis%2F2884959566.html%0A



i came out of the dressing room and pulled the corner to find myself face to face with you,iv been in love since.this took place on sat.march 03,please email me.

  • Location: sylvan lake
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2884959566


It's Happened...For Someone Else!

While browsing Kijiji and Craigslist for missed connections I almost had a heart attack. Has it happened? Is this a joke? The headline had Walmart and Sylvan Lake in the title. I spend almost all of my free time at Walmart. I find it relaxing there. I click on the ad, my heart racing. The ad is crudely written, as if chiseled into a cave wall. Spelling and puntuation left at the wayside, there is no time for capitalization when dressing room love is on the line! Was this passionate man looking to reconnect with me? No. The date of the article is March 3rd. I just had to be in Canmore on March 3rd.