27.4.12

Election Day Lessons

This last Monday, Election Day, I was lined up at the Sylvan Lake Community Centre, ready to get my vote on. Being the nerd that I am, I love to vote. I had been tweeting about the election and non-stop encouraging people in my life to vote. This was my moment to practice what I was preaching. I am instructed to go to booth 27 where I give my name and am given instructions on how this vote thing works. Right beside me a man, probably around my age, with a neck tattoo, yes, at least one man with a neck tattoo was exercising his right to vote. I made some eye contact, me wearing my best, least stained, monster print scrubs having come straight from work. We then both went behind our respective cardboard privacy walls. I looked over one more time and then thought to myself "what the hell woman, this is not the time to be missin' connections it's time to vote." So I put my head down and marked my X. I guess I learned some hard lessons this election day. Some things are more important than the missed connection section on Kijiji and the cardboard privacy walls aren't really all that private. Oh and sometimes people with neck tattoos aren't the worst.
-Miss Connection

11.4.12

It's a Zoo Out There!

On Good Friday my best friend and I decided to hit the Calgary Zoo. The zoo, it turns out is not a good place to scope out men. Almost every man in the place had his pants up around his rib cage and was accompanied by a litter of children, not my scene. I did however, make some eye contact with a man as I dressed up my hotdog with all the condiments I could find. I am, I must mention, an artist when it comes to condiments. I can't blame him for watching. Next came the uncomfortable part. I caught him watching me eat the hotdog. I'm sure he was just in awe of my control, not getting even a little bit of mustard on my shirt. That was my only shot at a missed connection at the zoo. We later went out dancing where I saw more writhing teenagers than I care to discuss. There was absolutely no viable options for me to creep on since they were all overly hair gelled, hormonal, babies. I saw more attempts at mating at the bar than at the zoo. Too bad some of the endangered species don't take a lesson from every 18 year old bar star out there. If they did I can guarantee we'd have a heck of a lot more Whooping Cranes out there!

-Miss Connection