You With Your Pussy Cat Nose

Today I think I hit missed connection rock bottom. I was walking to the train when a big fat black cat approached me. Not just any cat but a cat with a little bell around his fat furry neck. He was running toward me in what seemed like slow motion, probably because he was so fat it was actually in slow motion. Before I knew what was happening I was sitting on the sidewalk snuggling with a strange cat. I was talking to him and he was purring back at me. It was magic. Magic, until a hunky man on a bike rode by and said, in the most judgemental of tones, "having fun?" Yep, that happened. This man must live in my neighbourhood he was only a block away from my house and he caught me sitting cross legged on the sidewalk talking to a strange cat. The worst part of the whole thing? I was much happier talking with the cat than I would have been if I was talking to the man. Also I named the cat Mr. Bojangles if you were wondering more about the state of my mental health.
-Miss Connection


Strangers on a Train

I am officially a resident of the giant city of Calgary! Each day I have an hour long trip to school and an hour long trip home. I take the C-train and I love it. I see the greatest things every day. My very first day on the train I saw a gentleman (I am using that term very loosely) drink a quarter of a bottle of Listerine. Not just any bottle of Listerine, a Costco size bottle of yellow Listerine. That's by far the worst flavour! He then turned to me and said "Sir, do you know what day this is?" Instantly I knew I was at home. I now live in a place where I am not the most awkward unfortunate person I see in a day. Even this week when I have no hot water at my house and have been using baby wipes and body spray in place of showering for the last 4 days, I seem like a well adjusted, well put together human on the train. Have I found love on the train? No, but I have developed some sort of Tuberculosis. If you see an ad saying: "you were coughing up blood and sobbing over your chick lit novel and we made extended eye contact on the 6:30 am train", you'll know it's about me.
-Miss Connection