I have been writing almost daily in a journal. Instead of writing about my everyday life I have been writing about what I'm grateful for each day. No matter how bad life seems there's always something to give thanks for. This practice has changed my outlook on life. It's so easy to get caught up in my own head and let me tell you, that's a scary place to be! My new goal is to become a less shitty person. When I say less shitty I mean less negative, less selfish, and less evil Disney step-sister.
I'm going to choose one thing each week that I am grateful for and blog about that. Hopefully this will keep me accountable as I transition from shitty Jessica to less shitty Jessica.
This week I'm grateful for the gym. Yes, there are dozens of beefy hunks to ogle. Yes, I feel super uncoordinated most of the time. Yes, I'd rather be in my bed eating Cheetos and drinking wine. Yes, I have OCD and all the sweaty bodies make me anxious. So clearly the gym is a place I love to hate. I've returned to regularly working out after probably a year of being extremely lazy and the thing I appreciate the most is that I leave my phone at home when I'm working out. I'm completely unplugged and unreachable. It's probably the only time I am focused solely on one thing. For 1-2 hours a day my brain is quiet. I don't compulsively check twitter. It doesn't matter if someone liked my picture. I don't even think about how many texts I probably don't have waiting for me. I am in the moment and focused. Between the endorphins and the break from life I leave the gym loving my life. Oh, and since I'm wearing shorts in public the gym has kept me up on my hair removal game so that's a plus. No more rolling over in bed and thinking there's a cat in my bed only to realize it's my own furry leg I felt. So thank you to the gym!