28.9.13

Gratitude Project

I'm not making awkward eye contact with strangers on the train anymore, partly because I've grown out of that experiment and partly because I usually sleep on the train. I do still check the missed connections daily just in case! If Disney has taught me anything it's that I'll probably meet Prince Charming while I'm half comatose.

I have been writing almost daily in a journal. Instead of writing about my everyday life I have been writing about what I'm grateful for  each day. No matter how bad life seems there's always something to give thanks for. This practice has changed my outlook on life. It's so easy to get caught up in my own head and let me tell you, that's a scary place to be! My new goal is to become a less shitty person. When I say less shitty I mean less negative, less selfish, and less evil Disney step-sister.

I'm going to choose one thing each week that I am grateful for and blog about that. Hopefully this will keep me accountable as I transition from shitty Jessica to less shitty Jessica.

This week I'm grateful for the gym. Yes, there are dozens of beefy hunks to ogle. Yes, I feel super uncoordinated most of the time. Yes, I'd rather be in my bed eating Cheetos and drinking wine. Yes, I have OCD and all the sweaty bodies make me anxious. So clearly the gym is a place I love to hate. I've returned to regularly working out after probably a year of being extremely lazy and the thing I appreciate the most is that I leave my phone at home when I'm working out. I'm completely unplugged and unreachable. It's probably the only time I am focused solely on one thing. For 1-2 hours a day my brain is quiet. I don't compulsively check twitter. It doesn't matter if someone liked my picture. I don't even think about how many texts I probably don't have waiting for me. I am in the moment and focused. Between the endorphins and the break from life I leave the gym loving my life. Oh, and since I'm wearing shorts in public the gym has kept me up on my hair removal game so that's a plus. No more rolling over in bed and thinking there's a cat in my bed only to realize it's my own furry leg I felt. So thank you to the gym!

-Miss Connection...err..Miss Grateful...yep that sounds better!

8.9.13

The Plight of the Nice Guy

I've been told three times in the past week that I will probably die alone. The best part is that I didn't even ask these 3 almost strangers their opinion on my likelihood of living a sad lonely life. This comment all 3 times came after I politely and respectfully declined their requests for a date. Yes, I know it's hard to believe but sometimes dudes wanna date me. All 3 guys are very nice men, well...up until they told me I'm dying alone they were nice. I get that rejection sucks, I get rejected all the time- men, loans, credit cards...just kidding, I have fantastic credit, it's just the men. There's no need to take a cheap shot at a person because you aren't their type or they don't have time to shower regularly let alone go on a date with you.

Yes, I'm 26 and I've never had a boyfriend. Do I let the word 'single' define me? No I'm much more than just incompetent at dating. I'm a person, a daughter, a Patrick Swayze fan, a sister, a friend, a nurse, a broadcaster, I'm a whole bunch of things. Just because I make a lot of jokes on twitter and Facebook about being desperate doesn't mean I have to date every person who is nice to me, otherwise the elderly greeter at Walmart would get first dibs. Yes, eventually I would like to find a nice guy to date, but nice isn't going to be the only quality that attracts me. Also, finding this nice guy isn't my only life goal because it's not 1956 and I'm allowed to focus on my career. If I do "die alone" I won't be alone, I have all sorts of people and you can bet there will be cats.

-Miss Connection